Over the years, I photographed you and the family. I think I was aware that you had to go at some point, but I tried to preserve the moments we had. And over this time, our relationship changed. The tone of your voice became softer. Taking pictures of you was also acknowledging your disease and your pain. And it was hurtful because I knew that some moments might never reoccur.
"You Felt the Roots Grow" is a personal record of a time between hope and grief. The project is about the recent loss of my dad and the family’s experience with his cancer disease.
For seven years, we were waiting for good news that never really arrived. The story is about waiting, silence, hope, strength, growing intimacy and understanding, but also the growth of cancer, the invisibility, the pain and the disappointment. Whilst my sister became a mother, and we were happy to see the newborn life grow, my dad slowly became weaker. Growing silently underneath the surface of the skin, the project also attempts to turn the hidden cancer into something visible, whilst acknowledging its destructive nature. Things were uncontrollable and felt very much out of hand during this time. With the means of photography and text, I tried to regain some control over the narrative and the memories that we are left with.
Ultimately, it is my personal experience as a daughter, in which I face the bittersweetness of transience, the poetry within loss and the incompleteness of memory.